Why Your Relationship Is Killing You (Part 2)

Why Your Relationship Is Killing You (Part 2)

Last article we talked about how in a toxic relationship you’re forced to choose between your need for attachment and your need for authenticity.

I admit that this might sound touchy feely and cheesy. I mean, we obviously need food, water, and shelter, but do we really need attachment and authenticity? Authenticity sounds more like the luxury pursuit of rich white women on Instagram than a genuine need, amirite?

Given the amount of eye roll-inspiring hackery that exists in the mental health field, I don’t blame anyone for being skeptical. Still, though, in this article I hope to use the insights of evolutionary psychology to show how the suppression of authenticity in the name of attachment has profound consequences for your mental and physical health.

At the end of the day, having to choose between authenticity and attachment is basically the relational equivalent of being forced to choose between air and water. Here’s why.

Why Your Relationship Is Killing You (Part 1)

Why Your Relationship Is Killing You (Part 1)

Ever felt like you were losing your fucking mind in a relationship?

Like you tried everything to keep the peace, but it was never good enough? Like the other person never took responsibility for themselves and always found a way to blame you? Like you were always giving and the other person was always taking? Like you were crazy or horrible for feeling hurt, frustrated, uncertain, or angry?

The Gift of Loneliness

The Gift of Loneliness

When I was 24, I left everything behind to go live in a monastery. I still remember my first night there: alone in my little room, with no distractions, no entertainment, and no people, the silence and solitude were so profound it felt as if they would swallow me whole. It seemed as if my every insecurity suddenly loomed before me. I seriously doubted my decision to be there, and I felt a loneliness unlike anything I'd ever experienced. That was precisely the moment at which I would have reached for something to take the edge off - a phone call to a friend, a sexual encounter, a TV show - except there was nothing to reach for. I was just stuck with it.

Why You Should Consider Yoga and Meditation

Why You Should Consider Yoga and Meditation

For thousands of years, yoga has been known to unite body, mind, and spirit through a combination of poses, breathwork, relaxation, and mindfulness techniques. For the past few decades, yoga has become widespread in Western culture and is commonly known to calm a busy mind and mitigate stress.  There are many reasons why practicing yoga and meditation could be beneficial to your well-being. Read on to learn the various ways these practices could help you.